The Problem of Pedestals

What seems a lifetime ago, I was working at Old Time Photos in Virginia Beach, Virginia… living one paycheck away from being homeless and oblivious to the fact that we were in the middle of a great decade of music…

Part of the opening routine – back in the days when we developed sepia-toned pictures in house with no computers – was to take a proof photograph to ensure the solutions were correct. Most folks just took a shot of the empty bottles at the bar, but I had gotten bored with that. Taking the trio of stuffed animals we used to get the younger customers to actually look at the camera, I began to create quick, impromptu stories.

The one that eclipses all others involved the pink bear (“Lucy² Bear” or “Lucy Squared Bear”) facedown at the base of a plastic pedestal prop, with the chipmunk (“Dale”) looking on. In the background, the pathetically homemade brown bear/squirrel creature – complete with offset eyes (“MezcalMouse”) was posed on his back within a nest of tequila bottles and koala-hugging the bottle of Mezcal I had pretty much killed with happy shenanigans ensuing donated weeks earlier.

On the back, I would write a summary/story for the picture, and for some reason, 30 years later, I can remember what I wrote:

Sadly, Dale learned the one important lesson about putting Lucy² Bear on a pedestal: no matter how high it is, they will fall; the higher the pedestal, the more gruesome and gory the impact.

Unbothered, MezcalMouse continued to drink his pathetic existence away.

I had fun back then, but sometimes I was a happy cloud of insight.

Over the years, I have had that notion… self-warning, even… reconfirmed over and over again. And the events of the last few weeks brought that story to mind once again – the pushback on Vivek Ramaswamy’s comments on American education/workers… the grumblings about Elon Musk’s selective censorship on X… social media “influencers”… once-favored politicians… professional athletes… veterans… you name it.

Perhaps it is my ongoing disregard for following popular trends/notions (still driving a manual transmission in 2025… my fashion sense is timeless as I am still wearing the same stuff I wore decades ago… and the Beretta 92-series is still one of my favorite pistols). It could even be that I hold very few contemporary heroes/idols in high regard. Sure, if I ever got to sit next to Adam Franklin of Swervedriver I would be thrilled beyond the capacity of speech, meeting Dave Bowman for dinner twice was surreal in that the voice and image I have followed for years on YouTube and his podcasts was directly conversing with me… in the same location, and crossing paths with Destin Sandlin of “Smarter Every Day” went about as casually as possible (to be fair, I couldn’t squeal in frenzied excitement like I thought and maintained I would – it was at the TSA checkpoint at the airport here, and if you know me in real life, me being excited at that location would not result in a happy photo). However, I can appreciate folks without placing them on the Dangerously Unstable and Vertically Significant Pedestal of Peril. This isn’t to disparage the real meetings mentioned – this is to underscore that, while cherished and important (the real ones, that is), those moments were not part of any pedestal placing or falling from said pedestal… they were just the good moment.

Some folks… well, they just can’t help themselves. They – the pedestal engineers (PEs) – create their own DUVSPoP and then are surprised when their idol has warts, hairy moles, and arms that are ever so slightly shorter than the average person. The PEs forget that those whom they place upon the DUVSPoP are multi-dimensional and emancipated from whatever idea the PEs might hold.

“Disappointment comes from expectations,” it has been said.

So… where do you go from here?

That’s up to you. I’d be very careful about with who is placed upon your DUVSPoP. And if you must disregard all warnings, don’t be surprised or get pissed when someone like me comes along and says:

“Told you so, dumbass. Here, have some Mezcal.”

VO