Hierarchy of Veterans

A shared Tweet led to a discussion with Dave and an impromptu elaboration on a personal hypothesis I have been mulling over for a while – that of my own hierarchy of Veterans…

Now, remember – as I have mentioned previously, this is the blog of a former NCO; there might will be profanity, so get over it and get over your ease of offense. Also, much of this is written in jest – good-natured humor with a tinge of truth to it. However, if the truth stings a bit, one might ask themselves why that might be the immediate reaction…

That was your warning.

Though I have flown over 1,200 hours in both Afghanistan and Iraq, I never feel the need to declare myself as a “combat veteran.” This is not to minimize those who do – everyone has their own motivations and justifications. Me? I just didn’t see the need for that distinction or label in everyday conversation. My comfortable segues into “funny shit I saw on deployments” and associated warped/dark sense of humor should be enough to indicate how much of my adult life was spent. (Pending blog as proof: I still need to write about the Asadabad Monkey)

However, after taking off the Uniform for the last time six years ago, I have had the pleasure and annoyance at being part of a small cross-section of American society who have sworn an oath and invested energy, attention, and commitment into Service.

“Pleasure” with some folks because we recognize a certain subdued pride in that we served as almost a hobby: we got into our field, we strove to improve our skillsets, and we were determined to share that knowledge so that others would be able to evolve a chosen and specific segment of military service into something better than what we started with.

“Annoyance” with other folks because we recognize that egotistic boasting with questionable supporting statements which get the “Bullshit” sensors twitching. These folks might have served in some sort of useful function, but they are typically more “legends in their own minds” and were probably the same tools which filled a manning requirement and that’s about it. Didn’t contribute shit, didn’t disseminate shit (probably because there wasn’t much more than rote memorization at play), and more than likely didn’t carry their own weight in the unit.

The former will get uncomfortable with recognition, while the latter will be the ones screaming at the waitress at Denny’s for their discount.

So… my theory of Veterans in terms of material, and the supporting justifications/information:

Balsa – these are the ones who completed Basic training, but never completed their first enlistment… While it is a material which could be used in some sort of constructive manner, it is usually one where neither strength or reliability is sought or expected.

Particle board – those who completed their first enlistment but never deployed (while OEF/OIF was active). Again, this is a material of use, but it is a conglomeration of other smaller bits which typically forms the structural portion of decorative or functional items. This is not to be confused/conflated with…

Pine – those who completed their first enlistment in a direct support role but never deployed (while OEF/OIF was active). Pine grows fast and holds value in both structural and decorative applications. These were the folks who either actively tried to be deployed and were unable to due to timing, specialty, or service; however, their contributions facilitated the reallocation of resources or manpower accordingly.   

Tin – those who did more than one enlistment during OEF/OIF, but never deployed. Tin has value, but that is only in respect to how it is combined and crafted. Contextually, I have to qualify this by slightly adjusting it to: “did more than one enlistment in a deployable military occupational specialty (MOS) during OEF/OIF, but NEVER deployed.” Oy. These folks sorta pissed me off – what made them so damn special while others deployed, deployed, deployed, and then deployed again?

Aluminum – these folks are somewhat problematic because it would be unfair to lump those who had supporting roles and specialties but were not in a position via their career field with those who outright avoided deployment for two decades. Aluminum has more benefits than burdens, though, and is a desirable alternative in specific instances.

Cast iron – those who served during the Cold War (1945 through 1991/2001 – this is debatable based upon one’s perspective of… issues… ). Cast iron is a good status – it is forged with deliberation, holds heat well, and is a bitch to destroy. Classic, ancient, and deadly when used with malice… but best sticking to being well-seasoned and cherished for the flavor and efficiency of what is functional art. Also, cast iron makes the best waffles, bacon, and any other comfort food… just don’t mistreat it – there will be hell to pay.  

Lead – those who received combat wounds. This would be obvious, but lead is extremely valuable as a shielding compound, ballast, and… well… as a component of projectiles. While lead is useful, it is often associated with health risks, which is fitting in the comparison with the lasting effects of being wounded as a result of enemy action. Additionally, the dangers of exposure to lead may not be visible or readily apparent.

Titanium – those who deployed to OEF/OIF and were combat veterans. Before the reader gets riled up or excited, keep in mind that the same benefit of strength and light weight also makes for problems in being cast. Titanium is useful, but it is expensive and tech-heavy in production and implementation. It isn’t the perfect material, but it works when care and intent is taken in development and creation.

Bronze – those who deployed to OEF/OIF and never left the damn forward operating base (FOB). Again, not everyone who deploys is heading out in harm’s way; on the contrary, indirect fire put everyone in harm’s way on a level of frequency dictated solely upon the location of the FOB. Bronze has applications, but one isn’t going to be making key structural members of a multi-story building with bronze. Looks pretty, though.

Edit:
Copper – anyone who deployed and couldn’t leave the damn FOB because they were mired in CAT5 cable due to being involved in any and every vital tech position. They always conducted themselves well, never stopped the signal (for too long, at least), and were the keepers of all digital media and means). Copper applies to all conductive elements of logistics and support – fuel, food, intel, and supply – the folks who were busier than hell and, at times, would have probably preferred the simplicity of immediate and explosive chaos rather than the never-ending Groundhog’s Day of medium-intensity demands which were never sated.

Ah… saving the best for last…

Pyrite covered in Afghan monkey shit – those who lie about doing any of the above. I could expand upon this, but… nah… that pretty much covers it.

Honorable mentions:

Rhodium – Second World War Veterans… in terms of rarity and availability, this would be the most precious of precious.

Zinc – Korean War Veterans… typically found in quantities in the Korean soil, zinc is also associated with sacrificial anodes found in corrosive environments.

Palladium – Vietnam Veterans… rare, stable under heat… and problematic availability due to Russian supplies.

[2Jul23 update]

Kiawe – anyone who served with the 25th ID… They learned to hate rainbows, their uniforms are still stained red from the dirt, and they probably have that scratchy eyeball feeling anytime someone mentions PTA.