“What did it feel like to see or hold your newborn for the first time?”
February 14, 2006:
I looked at my son… less than 10 minutes old… and had a series of unrelated thoughts flow through my mind:
“Look at what we did!”
“…Holy SHIT! Look at what I did!”
“Wow… everyone in history – good and evil – started out this exact same way…”
“This is MY meaning in life… to be a better father than… no… to be a better role model… no… I’m a DAD!”
“I will do EVERYTHING I can to keep you safe.”
April 12, 2018:
The thoughts never change, really… they just become more gender-specific:
“Look at what we did!”
“A daughter… means I will have to contend with boys…”
“I don’t care if I’m 44 and have a wonky back – I’m going to hold her, tickle her, and teach her to protect herself.”
“My GRANDMOTHER was 44 when I was born… whoa!”
“I will do EVERYTHING I can to keep you safe.”
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My son was born in the very L&D where my wife worked as an L&D Nurse. All her Nurse friends were there, it was like a big party.
Much to everybody’s surprise, it ended up being a caesarian birth, and after they got him out and booted up, I got to hold him even before my wife.
There was some further surgery required, so I actually carried him out of the OR to the room. It took over two hours for them to finish up with my wife. So after we got done with all the shots and measuring and poking it was just me and him for about an hour. Her nurse friends kept everybody out of the room until a few hours after she got back.
Some people have noted that he and I are particularly close. I attribute it to that time we had when it was just me and him waiting for mom.
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Oddly enough, I *just* got to your podcast about his 8th birthday and having kids when one is older. Same worries as mine, and the same determination to make sure they have the best tools while we can offer them…
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