Superpowers and the Army

“If you were to have any superpower you wanted, which would it be and why?”

Oh, this was the question of many deployments. Idle time brings out creative discussions…

Folks always gave interesting answers: flying, teleportation, invisibility… one guy even gave self-healing.

Me?

Mine would have been just one… and with that one, I would have gladly stayed in the Army until I got bored:

Jedi Mind-trick (the power of suggestion).

That’s it. That would be all that I needed.

Annoying Command Sergeant Major? [Hand wave] “You want to walk through the hangar clucking like a chicken.”

Idiot S1 clerk who routinely messes up the units paperwork? [Hand wave] “You want to volunteer to clean out septic tanks in a banana hammock.” (Not that I hold grudges)

Human Resources Command (specifically the Branch guy who handled assignments)? [Hand wave] “You want to change my orders for Benning to Belgium.”

Lazy-assed crew chief? [Hand wave] “You want to quit being a douche and pull yourweight as well as that of three others.”

I wouldn’t have done much to be overt or obnoxious… drawing attention to one’s actions would be counterproductive. Just enough to make things more entertaining and efficient… though that would all put me in jeopardy of violating the NCO creed and [Hand wave] I wouldn’t want to do that.