A Conversation with Curtis and Mical

A recent conversation thread brought me to a topic which, for me, is a sensitive subject to discuss in an open forum – experiences with racism. Central to this discussion was a 32-year-old article from The New York Times, summarizing first hand experiences with the lingering effects of the Jim Crow laws in Alabama, Georgia, and Virginia in the 1980s. My input was solicited for my unbiased insight, and I can only hope that what I had to say honored that trust and respect:

These experiences and the reality of what the South was like at the time of writing are beyond description and comprehension for the subtle and blatant evils of American society… I grew up in Detroit, so I have no first-hand experience with what others have had to contend with in their respective pasts. Discrimination and hate, however, was still experienced that far north – though not quite at such a scale – and not by one group or the other, but both black and white.

Unfortunately, until we can realize the strength in unity… these problems will persist and continue to divide this country – regardless of who is in office. What matters is where do we go from here, as “We the People” … not as “those who are led by ___”?

It is disappointing to know that it was going on so late in our history… just like it is extremely disappointing to know that the embers of hate that should have been extinguished a long time ago are still burning – whether it is in torches or anger-filled arson. I just finished reading a book on a 18th century Russian cavalry woman, and one of the things I found was the extreme antisemitism that existed even back then, and hate/discrimination goes back even further than that. I tell ya… fucking history is enough to make one a gloomy-assed SOB when you realize that the wheel of hate just keeps going.

However, and this is a HUGE however… I had a crisis a few months ago in reading primary sources on the atrocities committed by the Bolsheviks during the Russian Revolution… on their own people. You can appreciate the fact that I actually shut down – didn’t want to fucking do any more research on ANYTHING. Too much bad shit – too many people killing people over beliefs, skin color, land… whatever.

In the process of that depressing-assed time, I stewed: “Why bother? The same shit is going to keep going on…, right?”

I had to reframe my frustration… I started to look for the stories of people who triumphed… or persevered in the face of every single messed up idea their fellow man could throw at them… and I realized that our best traits as a species is how damned tenacious we are… all of us. We will do whatever we can to help, we will empower others… we will inspire others… we will be pretty damned fascinating. Why? What makes us tick? What makes us both angels and demons?

We have to be inspired to be greater because of our history… and not held back by it. Yes, the past is… fucked up, to put it plainly… but I cannot help but look at the good of where we are – in spite of that past – and be determined to be part of making sure my son, my family, and my friends are on the best paths to being part of a good product.

E Pluribus Unum – “out of many, one” … it goes for our histories, our struggles… and hopefully… into a much better one.

“…Sometimes the bad is overwhelming like you said but it is what makes us who we are but not who we shall remain as.”
Exactly. All we can do is put forth the effort and hope that history judges US well for it.

“…No amount of social media posts is going to change that.”
I wrestle with this a lot. I see posts that go on and on about whatever it is the news is airing, and I often wonder if folks realize their audience more than likely does not include major policymakers looking for unsolicited advice. I could even don my foil hat and say that the social media reaction is an effective tool to gauge the effectiveness of an opinion campaign manufactured by devious people bent of either division or inflammation to the point of almost boiling over…

However, what will social media posts change?
It depends on the effort, intent, and credibility of the author.

I don’t want to change anyone’s world view… maybe help them see things differently, sure… but change? No. Effective change is owned by the individual. Folks will put out whatever they want on their wall… funny cat videos, biased opinion, carefully selected facts, neutral perspectives, acknowledgment of the opposing side of an argument…. whatever. I have seen some of the most hatefully misguided stuff right above the most respectful and poignant stuff… and it is great that people can express themselves how they see fit. But I always will ask – “what is their intent?” To build or to tear down? THAT goes into their credibility: if they are following the bandwagon with their own malicious additions, then it’s not a factor of understanding their motives, but more of a factor of appreciating the fact that their world view is limited to only that which fits their expectations.

I have no firm stance on a lot of things. The pain of being a moderate, I suppose. What I do stand firm on is our potential. Facebook can be a mess, but I still see it as a place where the occasional question or post will elicit a discussion with people from “back in the day” who I will always appreciate and cherish because of the common bond we have.

 

This is why these conversations are so damned difficult.

The lines are often blurred, and those who chose not to say anything/say what is on their mind are on the same side, when you look at the bigger picture. However, the method of communicating these concerns are often very different and on varying levels of intensity for a ton of valid reasons… yet this is where the division comes from. There is too much emphasis at the same time there is not enough; the efforts to address the same root issue – racism – are no different: too far extreme, or so far from action it is mistaken for apathy.

So… how do we fix it?

I’m sorta for more big-assed BBQ’s and cookouts. No one can get pissy when there’s good food, good music, and very VERY limited beer. Family… friends… and the random stranger who sees something good happening and wants to be part of it.

The only way forward is to find that which everyone agrees upon and move from there. A compromise. We can all agree that beets, like racism (on both sides) are things that we could do without… but buttermilk pie and everyone’s own “special sauce/marinade”… that stuff we can never get enough of.

Now, before I choke on rainbows and grilled unicorn… back to reality.

No matter what, people are going to be chafin’ each other, and I have no unrealistic expectations that we will ever get rid of whatever -ism plagues one group. However, the extent that effects the whole is what we can strive for as a form of realistic control. I teach my son as much about history as I can… all of it. Some of it bores him, some of it perplexes him, and some of it he gets… but as long as the interpretation of every bit of history is clear and every effort is made to show how stupid and ridiculous some parts of our past has been, I can only hope that discrimination will never make sense to him and he will be able to elaborate better than I when it comes to addressing the issue when it does come up.

The thing is, I can see how the divide is growing in the U.S. – more people are shifting to the ends of the spectrum because of the actions of the “other.” If a moderate is chastised by liberals for being too conservative, what is the logical recourse? If a fence-sitter was in the middle of Milwaukee during the riots last year, what is to be expected?

THIS is what scares me – the fact that the middle is shrinking and the ends are growing. Yelling is getting louder, but it’s becoming impossible to hear what the other side is saying. We keep this shit up, we may lose everything that we have worked for … it will be either anarchy or total governmental control.

We have to remember that the middle is a good place to be for the better sake of the points of contention. Not because we don’t want/are too afraid to speak up, but because there needs to be perspective and more voices of reason.

[Note: This post has a conversational tone due to the informal setting and discussion of the original exchange. I realize I use ellipses… and italics…  far more than the average person, but this is a personal style that I tend to fall back on when the content is more important than the presentation.]